


Uptown Girl

by bluemooning



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: High School, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4600749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemooning/pseuds/bluemooning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ushijima takes the halls of Shiratorizawa by storm, with a little help from his teammates. However, he has been out of it all morning; can anyone help him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uptown Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the Billy Joel song of the same name; I think it embodies Ushiwaka very well.

 

So far, it was a typical day at Shiratorizawa Academy. Classes would start in a few minutes, and mostly everyone had already arrived. Students milled about in the classrooms and hallways, filled with their small concerns and petty laments.

“I wonder where Goshiki is,” Semi said to no one in particular, idly deleting his phone’s browser history. “I mean, he is such a vital member of our team,”

“I know, right?” Reon muttered, glancing over Semi’s shoulder. His eyes widened at the list of websites. “We couldn’t make it to nationals without him,”

With gusto, Goshiki burst into the room. “You called?” He exclaimed, panting hard, and approaching his senpais with a smile. He glanced over Semi’s other shoulder, and his eyes grew wide as he read the phone screen. “Semi-senpai, what are THOOSE?!”

“Go away!” Semi backhanded Goshiki in the face. “And buy us some bread,” He went back to deleting his browser history, leaving Goshiki to awkwardly shift his weight from side to side.

“But I don’t have any money,” He wept a single tear.

“Did you hear your senpai?” Reon turned on the first year, eyes blazing with fire. “He said, buy us some bread,”

With a whooping noise, Goshiki ran away. Semi finished up removing the last of the evidence, and went on to check his social media. He scrolled through the feed, barely blinking.

The room suddenly became very quiet. The girls in the corner stopped their gossiping, and the resident bully stopped beating the class scapegoat with a notebook. After all, no one could resist the magnetic allure of Ushijima Wakatoshi, who was strolling in right behind their homeroom teacher, who didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Everyone, settle down,” He said to the students. “Or I’ll make sure you all get toilet cleaning duty tomorrow,”

As Ushijima sat down, Semi and Reon exchanged a look. Something was different today, though neither of them could quite pinpoint exactly what. It gave them the heebie-jeebies.

“Hey, Ushijima,” Reon loudly whispered into his ear, “Did you do the math homework?”

“Yo, Ushijima,” Semi whisper-shouted into his other ear, “Did you get a new cologne?”

“...maybe,” said Ushijima, fiddling with his school supplies. They had strawberries printed in the corners, along with cute forest friends. “Leave me alone,”

“But your stationary is so cute,” said Reon, gesturing at Ushijima’s pencil case, which had scratch and sniff fruits on the front.

Ushijima’s eyes widened. With a dramatic sweeping motion, he gathered up all his things, and sprinted out of the classroom. In his haste, he ran right into Goshiki, and the two went tumbling.

“Oh no!” Goshiki wailed, holding his crushed breads high above his head. “The senpais are gonna kill me!”

Ignoring his kouhai’s screams of despair, Ushijima continued down the hallway. It was empty, with everyone in class and all, but it didn’t really surprise him when he saw Tendou off in the distance.

“Tendou!” He called out to his teammate. “Help me with something,”

“What?”

“We have to burn this, all of it,”

Tendou squinted at the excessively cute school supplies. “Aren’t those your little sister’s?”

“Yes, but - wait, how did you-”

As Ushijima considered the possibility of Tendou being a stalker, the latter just grinned. “Well, whatever. Let’s go!”

Within minutes, they were standing in front of an incinerator, watching smoke curl into the sky. Tendou took a hot dog and rod out of his backpack, and began to cook. After a moment or so, he had a nicely done link. He brought it to his mouth, licking the ash from it and trying to catch Ushijima’s eye. However, he was could not be swayed so easily, and instead was staring off into the distance.

Majestically staring off into the distance, thought Tendou, and bit down hard on the hot dog; this brought Ushijima back to reality, and he gave Tendou a look. He took a few steps away, but Tendou made up the difference.

“So why’d we burn your sister’s stuff?” He asked. It was a safe enough question, but Ushijima seemed hesitant to answer. No way...could it be…?

“She deserved it,” was Ushijima’s heartless reply. “She told me my new cologne smelled bad, and then ate the last of the waffles,”

Tendou clutched his chest. “Wakatoshi…”

“And that’s not all,” Ushijima continued. “After all I’ve done for her, all the homework I helped her with, all the bullies I’ve protected her from, all the waffles I saved for her-”

“You’re more of the bully, though,”

The two turned around, ready to kick some ass - but it was just Shirabu. They lowered their fists, though not completely.

“What’re you doing here?” Tendou aggressively wiggled his eyebrows at Shirabu. “Go back to class,”

“I could say the same for you,” said Shirabu. “I saw the smoke signals; you guys must be up to something,”

“Shut up,” said Ushijima. “The smoke doesn’t mean anything,”

“Of course not,” Tendou managed to say as he alternated between licking and biting the hot dog. Shirabu watched with interest, but he was doomed from the start; it was now impossible to tear his eyes away from his senpai.

Scoffing, Ushijima left his teammates be, and went back into the school. As he went through the halls, he started to hear a familiar chorus of voices.

“Iwa-chan, we’re lost!”

“No we’re not, Shittykawa! We just turn down here, and-”

The pair nearly ran into Ushijima, but they put on the brakes just in time. Ushijima glanced down at them, silently daring them to flee.

“Oh look, we found Ushiwaka-chan!” Oikawa cheered. “Ushiwaka-chan, why are there smoke signals outside?”

“Why are you here?” said Ushijima, making Oikawa pout. “Don’t you have school?”

“Who are you, my dad?” Oikawa winked. “And it’s just anime school, it doesn’t really matter,”

These words rattled Ushijima, as he thought of the endless nights of studying, of all the volleyball practice he had endured; it suddenly all seemed very irrelevant, and he staggered back in shock.

“I’m leaving now,” said Iwaizumi. “Come to the gate when you’re ready,”

“Okay, mom,” Oikawa waved farewell to his friend, and then turned back to Ushijima, who had recovered, but just barely. His knees still trembled as he struggled to take in this new development; there was no way he was just an anime character, Oikawa was just trying to get under his skin.

But what if…?

“Come with me,” He ordered, grabbing Oikawa by the wrist, whose brown eyes became wide.

“My, my, Ushiwaka-chan,” he teased. “Be more gentle,”

His face reddening at an incredible speed, Ushijima pulled the two of them under a staircase. He took a deep breath. “Oikawa, I-”

“Shhh,” Oikawa put a finger over Ushijima’s mouth. “You don’t have to say a word. I know exactly how you feel,”

Ushijima’s heart lifted. Was this his time? Would he finally confront his feelings head on, and fully come to terms with himself? But before he could start to take Oikawa’s pants off, the other acted first.

“Will you...be my boyfriend?” Oikawa grinned, holding a pearl necklace out to Ushijima. He looked very hopeful, and Ushijima took the little blue box. He squinted at the shiny pearls, but then a horrible realization seized him; these were farmed pearls, not wild.

“YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME TO SHIRATORIZAWA!” He screamed, kicking Oikawa in the dick, and running off into the distance.

Doubled over in pain, Oikawa watched Ushijima’s receding form. “Booty game too strong,” He whispered. “Though I could have been his downtown man,” He smiled to himself, before finally falling unconscious.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what happened  
> (oikawa you know you can't afford to buy him pearls)


End file.
